I mentioned in my last post that things have really changed for me in the last year. I want to elaborate on that and give a little background. I grew up in a Christian home with parents who faithfully took my brothers and me to church, taught Sunday school, sent us to camps and prayed for us. I am blessed to have spent my life knowing about God and hearing scriptures.
Growing up I was great at rule following and I knew the list about what Christians do not do and stuck to it. No drinking, no drugs, no sex, no gossiping. Well I never was great at the last one but it isn't even a commandment and I certainly wasn't stealing or murdering so I figured God wouldn't be too worried about me. I write this knowing it sounds so ridiculous and arrogant but I figured since I followed the list of what to avoid I was a pretty great Christian. I mean, ya we all sin but mine just weren't that big. Like I said, I know how bad this sounds but I'm trying to keep it real.
After college I married my favorite person and moved back to San Antonio. We went to the same church I grew up at where I knew people, worshiped God, taught Sunday school, was involved with VBS and was on a shower team. The trouble was, I still thought I was good. I didn't see myself as a lost sinner, I saw myself as someone who had it figured out. I was blind to my selfishness, lack of compassion for those less fortunate, and judgemental nature. I am not posting a list of personal struggles to hear things like "I don't think you are selfish" or "You are too hard on yourself. No one is perfect." I am putting it out there to let you know that I am a sinner in need of a savior. I am grateful for grace and I am called to change.
Nick got a new job, I quit teaching and we moved to small town Minnesota for a 9month training program. I will share more about that another time because it was a beautiful and simple time in my life that I will always treasure but I bring it up now to say that moving away from everyone and everything that I knew and loved prepared my heart for God to tear it up. If you get the chance to go on a scary, distant adventure, take it!
We are now living in Kyle, TX just south of Austin and I have been blessed by the Bible study at Hays Hills Church in Buda. We just finished 7 (Jen Hatmaker is truly an instrument for destroying lives... in a good way though). I will never look at my closet or pantry the same way! I am learning to see my sin and how much work needs to be done in my life to be the Christian I have always wanted to be. I am learning to love people that I wouldn't otherwise see. I am learning to look for ways to answer when God calls instead of saying, "Jesus, I'm a little busy with Vacation Bible School in July so I really can't serve you in March. Maybe talk to me in early December." If you are reading this, friend and there is a way I can show you love, don't hesitate to ask. I want to be the hands and feet!